March 17, 2007

• 

  Limericks

  There was a young woman named Bright
  Whose speed was much faster than light.
  She set out one day
  In a relative way,
  And returned on the previous night.

  

  There was a young lady one fall
  Who wore a newspaper dress to a ball.
  The dress caught fire
  And burned her entire
  Front page, sporting section and all.

  

  There once was a young man from Lyme
  Who scored a goal for the very first time!
  The young man was glad
  But his teammates were sad
  ‘Cause he hadn’t changed sides at half time!

  

  A gentle old lady I knew
  Was dozing one day in her pew;
  When the preacher yelled “Sin!”
  She said,”Count me in!
  As soon as the service is through!”

  

  There once was a lady named Lynn
  Who was so uncommonly thin,
  That when she assayed
  To drink lemonade,
  She slipped through the straw and fell in!

  

  There was a young maiden, a Sioux,
  As tempting as fresh honeydioux.
  She displayed her cute knees
  As she strolled past tepees,
  And the braves, they all hollered “Wioux-Wioux!”

  

  There was a young woman named Bright
  Whose speed was much faster than light.
  She set out one day
  In a relative way,
  And returned on the previous night.

  

  By beauty I am not a star.
  There are others more handsome by far.
  My face I don’t mind it.
  because I’m behind it.
  It’s the people in front that I jar.

  

  There once was a boy from Montreal
  Who loved to play basketball
  For a team he tried out
  But if he made it, I doubt
  For you see, he was three feet tall!

  

  An old fellow dining at Crewe
  Found a very large bug in his stew.
  Said the waiter, “Don’t shout
  And wave it about,
  Or the rest will be wanting one too.

  

  There once was a girl from Great Britain
  Who carelessly sat on her kitten
  Imagine her surprise
  and the look in her eyes
  when on the behind she was bitten.

  

  There was a plump knight named Sir Keith
  Who removed his sword from its sheath
  He fought for his honor
  But soon was a goner
  And the dragon stood picking his teeth.

  

  There was a young woman of Leeds
  Who swallowed six packets of seeds.
  In a month, silly lass,
  She was covered with grass,
  And she couldn’t sit down for the weeds.

  

  Roses can sometimes be red
  And violets are generally blue
  For it’s not in the rhyming
  But all in the timing
  That makes a dumb Limerick true

  

  Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

   

  • 4:53 am
  • 3 Comments